How to Make Transparency the Fuel for Your Recovery
Experts in recovery know recovery won’t happen without transparency. People struggling with sobriety will agree. We know the importance of accountability. But if you are not honest with others and yourself, you’re still hiding.
If you hide from your addictive habits, no one can hold you accountable for your actions. Without transparency, holding someone accountable for his actions seems impossible. Transparency and accountability go hand in hand. That’s why you’ll find they are key components of Vision Warriors’ sober-living environment.
I’ve never heard anyone bragging about being an alcoholic or an addict. Outside of movies, no one acts proud of their addictive behavior. You spent almost every waking moment hiding addictions from your family and friends. You know the risk of losing your family and job if somebody discovers you are an alcoholic. Your real friends won’t want to hang around a drunk. And they won’t want you around their own families.
After spending months, years or decades hiding your addiction from everyone you might realize you’re hiding it from yourself, too. Isolating yourself from others puts a roadblock in the way of your recovery. “I can hold my liquor” is a conceit too many people claim when they won’t admit they have a problem. “Just one day won’t hurt anything” is another lie. An addict lies to himself as much as he does to the community.
Only by shedding this attitude can you become transparent about your bad habits and failures with alcohol or drugs. Once you can see through the lies you made to yourself, you can open yourself up to your peers. At this point you’ll begin to accept the truth they share from what they’ve learned about you due to this openness.
How We Hide Our Misery
A person abusing drugs or alcohol knows how wrong it is for his health and relationships. Before committing to sober living, he may do anything possible to hide this abuse from others. While many of these attempts fail, they’re still used.
To get rid of the scent of alcohol or marijuana, he may try frequently brushing his teeth or chewing gum. He’ll have to wash his hands a lot so they don’t smell, either. What about those bloodshot, glassy eyes? Well, that’s why we have Visine, right? “It gets the red out,” they say, and to hide addictions from family, friends and coworkers, the eyedrops will be flowing.
But one of the most common techniques for hiding is to do just that. He’ll hide in his room, avoid going out in public and stay away from everybody.
Why You Must Lead a Transparent, Sober Life
The men who join Vision Warriors want to build relationships in the house. They need at least a few guys who they can trust. They need someone to talk to who won’t talk down to them or laugh at them.
“So it’s huge to have that transparency,” according to Gary, our house operations director. “Here, you’re trying to be honest.”
You don’t need to build that trust with everyone if you’ve got a few guys with whom you can share.
Vision Warriors Help You Stay Transparent
What does the Vision Warriors do to support and demand transparency?
A Vision Warrior can only join the community if he shares the commitment to his own recovery. He’s committing to work on his own recovery and help fellow residents with theirs.
While he must adopt transparency, the rules of living in the faith community work to encourage it. He shares his room with another Vision Warrior.
At Vision Warriors, the members create a community of like-minded men bent on their own recovery. They all look to each other for help and offer it. It’s unhealthy to keep things bottled up inside. And sharing your own stories offers inspiration to your housemates. You can gain confidence when opening up. Being honest and upfront with yourself helps everyone.
We want our brothers in faith to feel they can safely express their deepest passions, fears and pains without a filter.
Contact us to learn more about how a Vision Warrior makes sacrifices, battles through pain, and lives a life of discipline to become a better disciple, father, husband, leader and friend..
How Transparency Follows as You Reconnect with Your Life
How do Vision Warriors and others in recovery stay transparent in “real” life, back with their families, friends and workplaces?
When a Vision Warrior comes into the house, we start building his network outside in the community. That includes the people they meet in 12-step groups and those people they work with. He’ll meet many people in recovery and continue to share those relationships after transitioning back to his home.
One of the requirements is to have a job. That’s designed to help them learn how to successfully function in the community and keeps them from isolating themselves.
“You’re building a circle outside of here so when it’s time to leave, you’re not losing what you had in the house,” Gary said. “The same things you had in the house you’ve got outside of the house.”